Dating the Hubby

IMG_1896I have a confession to make…I feel a little vulnerable sharing it, but I know that if I want the blog to be part of the New Evangelization, and to witness to the heart of Catholic women, then I need vulnerability and honesty.  Here goes…I have neglected my husband lately.

I know that no one else must experience this <just kidding>, but it is in the recognition of this very fact that we can take steps to rectify the situation.  And we must rectify the situation.  Our husbands, after all, are our St. Joseph’s, and mine is an incredible man.  I want to honor that, and I want to be a Proverbs 31 wife.

It all happened when…when January and February were spent focused on my job, our kids, my father who is ill, and other obligations.  I got wrapped up in “everything else,” and I lost track of the first thing…Jesus and Steve.  Even though I was spending time with Jesus, it was part of the “to do” list.  The same was true of Steve.

And the Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us over and over again just how important Sacramental marriage is, as it reflects God. Check out paragraph 1639 of the CCC:

The covenant between the spouses is integrated into God’s covenant with man: “Authentic married love is caught up into divine love.”

This is to be taken seriously, and it needs nurturing!

I think we women who work can get totally wrapped up in the “to do” list.  Of course, the “to do” list is the double edge sword…it is the blessing and the curse.  We make the list to keep our lives on track, in order, timely.  But sometimes we become chained to the “to do” list and lose sight of what is right in front of our eyes.

I realized some of this at work, building relationships with my students.  I thought one day, “Mmmm….I can’t remember when the last time Steve and I spent this much time on our relationship.”  The next week was a particularly difficult week at work and other obligations.  By Monday of this week, I knew what I needed to do.  I needed to date my hubby again.

Dating is probably extreme.  To start off with, I need to go on a date with the hubby.  Looking at the calendar, I know that from now until the end of April, I am jammed-packed at work and with the children.  EXCEPT FOR THIS COMING WEEKEND!  YAY!  This could work! This could really work!

I texted him and said, “Hey, I really need a date!”  He says, “What are you thinking?”  I said, “A full day-date.”  He was ecstatic!  So was I!  The plan is in the works.

Here is what we are committing to:  I will plan the morning portion of the date with his needs and desires in mind; we will attend a St. Joseph’s altar at 12:30; and then Steve will plan the afternoon portion of the date with my needs and desires in mind.

It’s kind of mysterious…it’s a good surprise…it’s something I am anxiously (good) awaiting for!

When was the last time you honored your marriage with a date?  When was the last time as a working Catholic mom that you put the first things first:  Jesus and your hubby?  Is it time for a date with the man of your dreams?

Here are 3 tips ways to bring up going on a date with your hubby:

  • The old text message.  Explanation above.
  • Calling him and saying, “What’s your name again?  Oh, yea, it’s hubby.  I haven’t seen you in ages.  Want to get some coffee sometime?”
  • When you see him in the hallway of your home, look deep into his eyes and tell him you love him, and can’t wait to go on a day-long date with him (I’m going to try this one tonight!).

I tend to believe it isn’t just working Catholic women (who work outside of the home) who struggle with this concept of time management, keeping first things first, etc.  I think women in general say “yes” to lots of things, and sometimes our hubbies take the brunt of it.  With all of the responsibilities in our lives, it is always good and necessary to reflect and act with your marriage first in the priority list (right behind Jesus and God).

Next week, I will be able to report back on the date!  Until then…

May the peace of Christ rest in your hearts.

Mary

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Comments

  1. Emily Froeba says:

    love this Mary. What a goof reminder to a working Catholic mom!

  2. Emily Froeba says:

    I meant a good reminder…but its a good reminder for a goofy wife too!

    • Ha! Emily, that’s funny! I find that when I remember my primary vocation of wife and mother, then I am more balanced and in alignment with what needs to be done in my life! And I find that my relationship with God is better, too.

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